Have you ever realized the height of the borders you create inside yourself? Have you noticed that the limitations you create make you dream less?

Not being able to dream is one of the biggest challenges a person can face. Believe me! I know it because I lived a great part of my life as one of those people, but I was simply not aware of it. 

There are many reasons why a person might not dare to dream. Research has pinpointed the following.:


Fear that it might not happen

Let’s not dream that big. In this way, we can protect ourselves from being disappointed.   

Oh my god! Such a destructive thought! It is destructive because it holds you back from all the possible positive outcomes that just might happen if you let them. If you don’t dream you have no possibility of it coming true, but if you dream it just might.

Life is, at the end of the day, a big total of possibilities. Nothing should be taken for granted including your life. One day you will be happy, one day you will be sad. There is no way to stop this from happening. It’s just life! Trying to protect yourself from possible negative emotions could also prevent you from enjoying the positive ones. 

As Research Professor Dr Brene Brown says “vulnerability” is the key to happiness. Being open to all the possibilities, however unpleasant they are, keeps you alive. Be courageous and go for what you want. Allow yourself to dream.


How we are brought up

Children have colourful dreams. They love playing and dreaming endlessly. Here, the family can play a significant role in supporting these little dreamers. If “dreaming” is not supported and discussed within a family, then expecting that child to become a dreamer is a big dream in itself. When a child talks about her/his dreams, s/he wants to be listened to. Children want you to share in their fantasies. They don’t want to have their spirits suppressed.

Again, vulnerability is on the table. Parents who try to protect their children from negative feelings mostly create borders for dreaming. However, for the most part, they do this subconsciously. The child then grows up in an ultra-sterile or barren environment that doesn’t allow dreaming. This can definitely affect them in later life. 

What I say is “Please don’t make the children forget their dreams.” Support them lovingly.


Plans and wishes are stronger when they are backed by a dream

A plan or a wish you have for your future is not a dream. It is just a plan or a wish. Making plans for the future or having some wishes are good in themselves but dreaming gives our plans colour and texture. We can plan for the possible but we can dream of the impossible. Dreaming sets our minds free. Having a dream is like having a flashlight showing you the way. Without your flashlight, you might have to stick to a strict path for risk of losing your way. So, dream first! Then plan, or plan first and then dream bigger.


Dreaming is watching your movie.

A dream must be like a scene that you watch on your mind’s movie theatre. Whenever you close your eyes, you must be able to travel to that specific scene and feel the same feeling repeatedly. This action is called visioning and it strengthens your dream, making it more real and tangible while keeping your mind in alignment with what you dream.

For those who are interested, John Harricharan’s book “Power Pause” about visioning is strongly recommended. The book gives three simple steps for strong visioning that could easily be used daily. Long story short, dreaming is all about feeling! Feel your dream.


Focusing on what you don’t want as well as what you want.

At the moment, if I ask you “what kind of life do you want?”, it’s not that easy to pinpoint exactly what you want. However, if I ask “what are the things that you don’t like in your life?”, I’m sure you could come up with an instant list.

When a human mind is stuck in a negative mindset, it becomes more difficult to dream of positive things. Here’s a lovely and very useful exercise. Write down all the things that you don’t want in your life. Now, for each unwanted situation, allow yourself to dream of a much better situation. Write it down and make it as detailed as you want. Don’t give up until you reach the end of your list. Now, look at the paper. It contains a list of dreams. Dreams which just might come true.

Programming your mind to concentrate on what you would like to change or what you want to escape from is vital before starting to dream.


What is the point in dreaming? It will never come true.

In the past, I was very guilty of stopping myself from dreaming because I was sure the outcome was impossible.

People generally forget that they are not only the ones to make their dreams come true. We interact with other people all the time and they too are dreamers. They can be part of our dream, even if we don’t know it and we can be part of theirs. Dreaming big enough keeps all the universe including that person’s mind in alignment to achieve that dream.

If you create a lively picture of your dream to your mind, your mind consciously and unconsciously starts to keep you on track in order to achieve what it has seen.   


Don’t underestimate your strength and use it for the good.

The points mentioned above are the common obstacles which prevent people from daring to dream. Of course, there are more. We can invent more if we really want to be negative. Instead, open your mind, dream the impossible, dream the possible. Your dreams might not come true in exactly the way that you wanted, as the universe has a way of doing what is right for you but at least you are giving yourself and the universe a chance.


When someone says sarcastically to you “dream on”, answer with “I will, most definitely.” 

Dreams are never a waste of time.